Biology Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior
college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name the
organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six
times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Smythe gasped, then said freezingly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think
that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of
this." With that she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on
Miss Johnson and asked the same question. Miss Johnson, with composure,
replied "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Perkins. "And now, Miss Smythe, I have three things
to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a
dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful
disappointment."
Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a
mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have
bitten?
A. The boy's hand
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-days and if
it doesn't come means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology.
Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals
a day as I have advised?
A. Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan more...
A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take some samples for his thesis work. He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the biologist was disturbed by this. He asked the guide, "What are those drums?" The guide turned to him and said, "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop."
Well the biologist settled down a little at this, and things went reasonably well for about two weeks. Then, just as they were packing up the camp to leave, the drums suddenly stopped! This hit the biologist like a ton of bricks (to coin a phrase), and he yelled at the guide,
"The Drums have stopped, what happens now?"
The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said:
"Bass Solo"
Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.
Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Psychology is actually biology.
Biology is actually chemistry.
Chemistry is actually physics.
And physics is actually math.
During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, "Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?"
A student replied, "That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down."
The teacher, a bit annoyed, responded, "Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?"
The student countered by saying, "That's because girls get breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls."