"ABC" joke
There was this boy at school and his teacher said to him " Go home and find the first three letters of the alphabet." So he goes home and asks his sister " What is the first letter of the alphabet?" and she says " Get out of my room you stupid!!!!" And then he goes asks his dad " What is the second letter of the alphabet?" and he yells ( he is watching football) " Forty-six"! And then he goes and asks his mom (who is cooking) " My buns are burning!! My buns are burning"!! And he goes to school the next day and his teacher asks him "What is the first the letter of the alphabet?" and he replys "Get out of my room you stupid"!!!! And he is soon in the princapals office, and the princapal asks him "How many spankings should I give you"? And yells "Forty-six"!! And then he is running down the hall saying " My buns are burning!! My buns are burning"!!
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another more...
A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
"Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
"If more...
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The more...
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders,
using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The children began to say:
"Red... cherry,"
"Yellow... lemon,"
"Green... lime,"
"Orange... orange,"
Finally the more...