"In line for heaven" joke
"Alright, everyone," St. Peter says, "You men, form two lines - one line for the men who dominated their women on earth, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women."
They do as they are told. Peter looks up and sees that the line of men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long. In the line of men who dominated their women, there was only one man.
Peter is mad. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. God created you in His image and you were all whipped by your mates. Only one of you has made God proud during your journey on earth. Learn from him!"
Then, addressing the solitary man, Peter says, "Tell the rest how you managed to be the only one in this line."
"I'm not sure," the man says. "My wife told me to stand here."
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.