"Lifeboat" joke
After a ship sank in the ocean, three men ended up stranded in a lifeboat. They floated around for days without food or water. One afternoon a bottle floated up to the boat. The men grabbed the bottle and when
they pulled the cork out of the bottle, a genie appeared.'I'll grant each of you a single wish,' said the genie.'I wish I was home,' said the first man. Then, poof! he disappeared.'I wish I was home, too,' said the second man. Poof! He disappeared too.The third man looked around.' Gee, I'm kind of lonely,' he said.' I wish my friends were here with me.'
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another more...
A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
"Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
"If more...
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.
"What's logic?" asked Bubba.
The more...
A teacher was doing a study testing the senses of first graders,
using a bowl of Lifesavers.
The children began to say:
"Red... cherry,"
"Yellow... lemon,"
"Green... lime,"
"Orange... orange,"
Finally the more...
there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of more...