"Pet Chicken" joke
An old man with a chicken on his shoulder approaches the movie theater window and asks for two tickets.
"Who will be going in with you sir?" asks the girl at the counter.
"Well, my pet chicken, of course," replies the man.
"I'm sorry, sir," the girl says, "there are no animals allowed in the theater."
The man then goes around the corner, stuffs the chicken down his pants, returns to the window, buys his ticket and enters the theater.
Seated inside the theater, the chicken begins to gets hot and starts squirming, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick its head out and watch the movie.
The woman sitting next to him looks down at his lap and is horrified. She leans over to her friend and whispers, "Hazel, the man next to me just unzipped his pants!"
"Blanche, don't worry about it," Hazel whispers back. "You've seen one, you've seen them all."
"I know that, Hazel," Blanche says, "but this one is eating my POPCORN!"
there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of more...
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...