"Southern Minister Pours the Liquor" joke

A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."And finally, he cried, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river." Sermon complete, he then sat down.After a few moments, the song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River'."

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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there were three young poly boys on a road trip a samoan a tongan and a maori .. the tongan and maori wer in the back seet while the samoan was driving ..
the samoan lost controll and of the wheel and hit a tree ... all threee polly boys died .. they all got too the gate of more...

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If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...

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your hairline so far back i thought u went bald in 3rd grade

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Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site."

Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?

Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole more...

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