"Stopping A Dog From Humping" joke
A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park when her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rottweiler. The Rottweiler was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rottweiler's butt, and the dog leapt in the air and the action stopped immediately.The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she asked.The little boy said, "That's my dog! He can dish it out, but he can't take it!"
English tourists driving through New Zealand countryside when they spot 4 maori falla's struggling with a huge pole against the woolshed.
Curious they stop, watch and take photo's. Finally one of the tourist's curiosity gets the better of him, so he walks over to them and more...
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a giraffe with a hedghog?
A: A six-foot toothbrush.