"The Cruise!" joke

Three friends - two straight guys and a gay guy - and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned.
They each had to come before St. Peter to be admitted into heaven.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife.
St. Peter shook his head sadly.
"I can't let you in. You loved money too much.
You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny."
Then came the second straight guy.
"Sorry, can't let you in, either." said St. Peter. "You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!"
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously...
"It's not looking good for us Dick."

Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...

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your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

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There was an ambulance with its siren on that was rushing to the hospital that passed by a tenement. After they passed the tenement, they saw a Samoan man running quickly to the ambulance. The drivers were questioned by his presence behind them so they stopped the ambulance and more...

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A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...

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