"When this guy heard that" joke
When this guy heard that the Pope was coming to town, he went out and
bought a tuxedo in the hope that the Pope might notice him on the parade
route. When he went to the parade, there was this bum standing next to him,
with old, dirty clothes on. The the guy's amazement, when the Pope came, he
went over to the bum, and whispered something in his ear. Enraged, the guy
went over to the bum and offered him $100 for the clothes off his back. Next
day, he went back to the parade dressed like a bum. Sure enough, when the
Pope came, he stopped in front of this guy, and whispered in his ear, "I
thought I told you to get the hell out of here!"
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...
There was an ambulance with its siren on that was rushing to the hospital that passed by a tenement. After they passed the tenement, they saw a Samoan man running quickly to the ambulance. The drivers were questioned by his presence behind them so they stopped the ambulance and more...
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is more...