"Competing For The Smallest" joke
There were three midgets, and all three wanted to be in the Guiness Book of World Records for having the smallest of something... The first midget wanted to have the smallest hands, the second the smallest feet, and the third (you guessed it) wanted to have the smallest dick.
They went to get themselves measured, and the first little midget came out all happy because he had the smallest hands. The second midget came out all happy because he had the smallest feet... but the third little midget came out all pissed off and said, "Who the fuck is Osama bin Laden?"
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...
your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...